**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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