i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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