All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
