hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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