Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Four minutes until I can fart!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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