Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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