marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
