He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
