youre lurking in front of me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
