I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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