her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
