I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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