What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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