Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
