I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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