If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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