i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
