who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
