Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
