how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
