so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
