He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
