You're completely useless in the revolution.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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