Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
