when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
