the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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