I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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