you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
