i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
