We won't sleep together?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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