i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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