i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
