the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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