Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
