BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
