i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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