doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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