Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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