I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
