i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
