Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
