Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize