i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
