you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
