I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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