In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
