physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
