That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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