My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
