Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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