HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
