have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
